Before reading on, I want to share that all relationships are now healthy and healed. At the time of this writing, all of our four sons have healed as well, and say they wouldn't change a thing, nor would I. This portion is set aside because I honestly feel like it's too much information on one hand. On the other hand, some people want to know what inspired me and that I can understand their pain and that rising above some tough spots is entirely possible! So, here you go!
Just a note to share how I came to be leading a holistic trauma group for Veterans....
I'm not a Vet myself. My father is an Army Vet. My brother attempted service but did not make it. He joined the Navy but disappeared in October of 1982 never to be seen or heard of again.
He had a very troubled childhood. Our father was way too young to become a father. He was only 22 when I was born and I was his third, and we were a couple years apart. He was still in testosterone rage mode while burdened with the responsibility of a family. He tried to do all the right things and accomplished most of them but the anger and rage imprinted us for a future of repeated trauma.
I'd like to say my mother was the saving grace. She tried as well and covered most of the bases. However, she was raised by an alcoholic and became a heavy drinker herself. She resented being a mother because she never had anytime to enjoy her own life.
This situation left me with an example of good hearted and good intending parents, but also traumatized and neglected. As one could imagine, the combination of a good hearted person, who is neglected and traumatized opened many doors for future problems, most of which I walked right through.
My younger days were full of feelings of not belonging. The stress of my home life caused bladder spasms, for which I was whipped with the belt. I never knew what was going to trigger my father. I remember running to my mother for safety once at about 5 or 6, and she told me there was nothing she could do and I was whipped with the belt again. They divorced when I was about seven years old.
My brother was in constant trouble and I joined him for several adventures. We enjoyed the freedom of walking forever in the corn. We'd get home late sometimes and were whipped again.
Just so you know, I do not look back at this time with emotional distress. It just was the lay of the land that imprinted my future days until I untangled the mess.
I tried a lot of traditional modalities. I joined a co-counseling group in 1976 in Southern California as a child in elementary school. I learned how to utilize alcohol to calm social anxiety at a very early age. I earned a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. I became a Juvenile Probation Officer. I married the Probate Court Administrator. I joined martial arts, earned a 2nd Degree Black Belt, became in instructor and State Champion several times. I became Catholic. Divorced my traumatic marriage, not before my husband attempted suicide by gun shot while the family was indirectly present. We all heard the shot, but no one saw the action. Drugs didn't really make sense to me as an answer.
None of the traditional tactics worked to ease my internal terror. One day, I acknowledged that this is bigger than me and that I didn't know if there was an answer but I could see how I was not like others who could have stability and predictability in their lives. Every so often, I went off the rails. I presumed this would remain my pattern and accepted myself in this condition. This is when the answers began appearing.
I learned of a method called Reiki. I received Reiki weekly for a few months. This began in the Spring of 2010. I continued following this path as I experienced internal peace the first time I received a Reiki session. I spent the next nine years turning every stone to fully understand why this helped me so much.
I returned to formal study, taking 55 credit hours in human health courses. Then proceeded to earn a Master's in Strategic Communication to package the programs that I had developed through experience in private practice and incessant exploration of all things holistic.
I have an overflowing abundance of resources and information flowing through my head. To not overwhelm others, I worked to create simple methods to give clients and students easy and gentle access to the origins of their un-quietness and directions to take to soothe the emotional pain, which brings you to this page.
(the light in me recognizes the light in you)
Vibrance Center of Michiana, Inc ~ 224 W Jefferson Blvd. Suite 202, South Bend, IN 46601 ~ relief@VibranceCenter.com ~ (574) 208-8416